Lesson Eleven: Protecting Marriages

Elder Burton in a conference talk given in 2005 said this about eternal marriage, “If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by."

We protect our marriages by putting up safeguards that help keep our marriages sacred and special, and to make sure nothing else enters into that space. As I’ve thought about what I can do to protect my marriage, I feel the importance of recognizing that infidelity doesn’t usually occur because someone is seeking out another person, but happens when you are not being watchful and do not have good boundaries set. Many often have the mentality that “it would never happen to me” and therefore do not feel the need to protect their marriage.

I think as we humbly recognize that if we are not doing all we can to protect our marriages, we could find ourselves in negative situations that we never dreamed of being in. So it’s important to realize the necessity of putting up safeguards and protections. For example, I like to exercise at the local gym, it’s so much more motivating and fun for me to work out in a group. And I definitely push myself harder when I do. I’m also aware of the danger that gyms can have on marriages. So one way I safeguard my marriage is that I usually attend the classes in the exercise room where 99% of those participating are women. It’s a fun way to exercise and I also get to meet other moms who I can connect with.

Kenneth Mattheson in his talk from the 2009 Ensign titled, Fidelity in Marriage said this, “We should be careful not to allow inappropriate relationships even to begin to develop. As Paul warned, “abstain for all appears of evil" (1 Thessalonians 5:22). Fidelity includes refraining from physical contact – but that is not all. Fidelity also means complete commitment, trust and respect between husband and wife. Inappropriate interactions with another person can erode fidelity.” If we protect and keep our marriages special and sacred by putting safe guards in place, we will enjoy the wonderful blessings that come from an eternal marriage.